If you have ever made a public proposal and your partner said yes, thank your God. Public proposal rejection is one of the worst breakfast ever to be served to someone. The heartbreak no be here. You’ll be suffering from heartbreak and humiliation. You can’t go outside without wondering if the whole world is eyeballing you with pity or mockery.
As distasteful as public proposal rejection is, it’s still pretty commonplace. Go to shopping malls where most of these proposals take place, chances are you’ll witness some heartbreaking scenes because the proposee rejected the proposer’s heartfelt proposal. This is why I’m not particularly a fan of public proposals. But if you are strong enough to do it, this article will equip you with enough knowledge in case your heart is shattered on the public floor.
What is public proposal rejection?
Public proposal rejection simply means rejecting a marriage proposal in public. Here, someone (usually the male) asks his partner to marry him in front of witnesses, and the partner rejects his proposal in front of the same people. It’s a devastating experience for the rejected one, which can take a while to overcome.
Public proposal rejection trend
Marriage is a beautiful thing, and most people who have been in romantic relationships look forward to saying “I do” at the altar. However, we all know that not every relationship ends in marriage. Also, not all engagements end in successful marriages.
Public proposals are becoming a trend. According to a 2017 study by The Knot, some 45% of wedding proposals now happen in public places, up from 34 percent in 2011. This is because many believe a public proposal is a beautiful gesture to publicly show how much a partner loves the other. It’s seen as an ultimate poster for romance, as we see in movies.
Unfortunately, not everyone is up for it, hence the proposal rejection trend. According to research by Lisa Hoplock, PhD, a postdoctoral fellow in the college of nursing at the University of Manitoba, only 15% of women actually want a public proposal from their partners. The majority prefer to keep the proposal quiet but no less romantic.
So, it’s not a surprise that the proposal rejection rate is high. A lot of people don’t take into consideration their partner’s preferences. Rather, they go for what they’ve conceived in their heads only to be heartbreakingly disappointed in the worst way at the end.
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Causes of public proposal rejection
1. It’s too soon
Many people are in a hurry to marry once they enter a relationship. However, their partners may not feel the same way. They want more time to get to know each other, their likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. They’re not ready to walk down the aisle this early in their relationship. Once a partner ignores the signs and goes ahead to make a public proposal, rejection is bound to happen.
2. No foundation in the relationship
When a relationship lacks a great foundation, expect a public proposal rejection. What does it mean to lack a great foundation in a relationship? It means where there is no love, trust, respect, basically a relationship that has been a disaster from the beginning. In this case, it’s better to reject a marriage proposal, even a public one, than to remain in a toxic relationship.
3. To save a broken relationship
Making a proposal when your relationship is already broken is a ticket to premium breakfast. Many people do this as a way of saving their already disastrous relationship. They hope that with the public proposal, their partner will be put on the spot with no choice but to accept. The result is usually shocking when they discover too late that their partners don’t care enough about them to accept the proposal, even if it’s to save face.
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4. Proposing at a wrong time and wrong location
As previously stated, some people are insensitive to their partners’ preferences. You build this elaborate plan about publicly proposing to your partner without actually considering if he or she will appreciate it. For instance, you know your partner hates going to the beach for whatever reason, yet your plan is to propose to her on a crowded beach. She hates watching football, yet you propose in front of a crowd in a stadium. Why are you then surprised that she will have the temerity to reject your proposal?
5. Proposal is not romantic
Like that story about a Nigerian guy who commanded his girlfriend to wear the engagement ring he bought for her and thank him. That’s the type of proposal that will get you a resounding “no” in a public place. You may say you’re not the romantic type, at least try to do something. Even if it turns out to be a disaster, your partner will still appreciate the fact that you tried. But when you lazily propose in public expecting your partner to accept, anything wey you see, take am like dat.
6. Your partner doesn’t believe you’re the “one”
It will shock you that not everyone wants to end up with the people they’re in a relationship with. Some people just want to have fun and go. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and a person who rejects a public proposal thinks that the partner is not the right person for him or her. It sucks, but it’s true.
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7. Your partner doesn’t believe in marriage
If you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t believe in marriage and you hope to change their mind by making a public proposal, I’m sorry to say you will be rejected. Some people simply don’t believe in marriage for reasons best known to them. You have to find out if your partner shares the same aspirations with you or not and act accordingly.
8. The proposal was made in public
You want to shout to the whole world that you want to marry this person, but have you considered that the person may not appreciate a public proposal? Many introverts find anything that will attract attention to them embarrassing. So they will definitely not be happy to be the center of attention because their partners proposed to them publicly.
How to handle public proposal rejection
Now that you have chopped breakfast because your public proposal was rejected, here are ways to handle it:
- Remain calm. Don’t let your emotions get the better of you and make you do something stupid.
- Give yourself time to heal.
- It’s okay to want to be left alone.
- Think carefully about yourself and your relationship. Perhaps, there was something about it that was missing.
- Decide if you want to continue the relationship or move on with your life.
- Talk to your partner at least to get some closure.
It hurts to know that the person you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with doesn’t share the same feelings, especially when you find out through a public proposal rejection. This is why it’s important to know the person you’re dating and how they feel about you before you propose publicly.
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